Montag, 10. Juni 2013

When do we lose our innocence?

Many people think of virginity when we say innonence, especiallly about girls. But is virginity really such a big deal that afterwards we aren't innocent anymore? Can't we also lose our innocence while a virgin. We do stupid things all the time, things we regret and think we wish we could make undone. But we can't and I guess maturing is to learn to live with them. And maturing does not unfortunately come wiht age, people always think that, but really if you have been protected all your life and never had any other problems than what to eat for lunch you're not mature. Life makes us mature and we can hide from it or meet it shoulders back and head high. Sometimes I wonder how you can tell if a person is innocent. Some dress sweet as pie and you think they couldn't swat a fly, when it turns out they just devoured a shark. Pink, rose and white don't make  you innocent. Neither do high cut tops and long skirts and penny loafers. You are either hiding from reality or refusing to grow up. 

We each have something special and a way to show it. Be it creativity, intelligence, being a good friend or althlete. Everyone has something and a way to show it to the world. The problem is most don't and when they do that is the moment I belive we begin to mature. Wether you're gay and are wearing pink for the first time, or the manbag you've been dying to use but only strutted in the safety of your four walls. Or if you love to sing and have a inclination towards Beyonce and just don't dare to wear gold in case to attract attention or sexy outfits on stage, if you only buy them and then chicken out and wear jeans on stage. If you love to design and have hand made dresses and spray painted shirts you are afraid will be laughed at, even though you spent months on them. If you love sport and your sweats more than anything in combiantion with your Nikes but don't want to be thought of as a tomboy so you wear plaited skirts and blouses. If you  hate high heels because you can't walk in them but wear them to appear ladylike. Or if you love low cut and see-through but don't want to be laughed at or called a slut.

We are afraid of others judging us, that we often forget they are too. My teachers used to love how I dressed until I got into black and hotpants. I was the althlete until I wanted to look like a girl. I loved making outfits and changing clothes but never dared in fear to be looked at weirdly. I still am being looked at weirdly and people still call me slutty and extreme. But that's me and I have come to terms that the people who don't like it don't like me either, because that's who  I am. I love being creative ( or at least trying) and I love high heels more than anything. But at times I really just want to wear my converse, knee socks, cap and cardigan. Sure I look like a some kind of cheerleader and people turn and stare but it's comfortable and I love it. People who will judge and are that superficial, are just not ready to present their own self yet, so they distract themselves with insulting others. Other people can possibly just tell that they don't like me because I'm to extravangent and at times loud and that's ok. You don't have to like evryone, but respect them. 

We live in the 21st century and I would have hoped that by now we are past judging on being gay, sluttly, altheltic or intellegint but humans are raised and born with jealousy and will never stop judging. What will change is your maturity, when you have accepted who you are they people who don't care will be the ones who matter. And those who care don't matter. You don't lose innocence through rebelling and sex, innocence is lack of knowledge and the knowledge most important is knowing yourself. When you know this, you have lost your innocence and that is good, because you ahev then figured out who you are.

Still loving fashion,

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